Fuck James Cameron, THIS is the film that launched Arnold Schwarzenegger as a bona fide action superstar. Thank Christ, then, that Commando is still, after all these years, a gratuitously violent potboiler with all the charm of a rocket-propelled grenade in the face.
Directed with gusto by grindhouse alumnus Mark L Lester (yes, that's right, that Mark L. Lester, the director of the 1974 classic Truck Stop Women - I know, incredible!) Commando tells the tale of hard-ass military chap John Matrix (John Matrix!) and his suitably low-key attempt to rescue his kidnapped daughter from the clutches of uber-villain Arius (played with almost racist zeal by the legendary Dan Hedaya, slapping on the fake tan like you wouldn't believe) and his horde of increasingly dastardly bastards.
Needless to say, it's still completely and utterly amazing, regardless of the film's somewhat cavalier attitude to continuity errors (check out the chase sequence with the yellow sports car - one minute it's mangled like a dog's arse, the next it's showroom pristeen. Incredible.) Oh, and the bit where Arnie swings across the shopping mall is still one of the greatest stunts ever committed to film, if not the single greatest moment in the history of movies. Ever. Or something.
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